For those of you who feel a sudden urge to leash train your goat, a couple of important tips to keep in mind ... well quite a few more than a couple:
- Make sure you have the a collar of the right size.
- Do not trust your husband to make this judgement. Remember. Goats have insatiable curiosity. When their curiosity is piqued, they develop minds of their own, i.e., they slip their collars (picked by aforementioned husband), trot off to investigate the city and stop traffic. Let us hope the City of Maryville does not discover an illegal goat spent an hour downtown creating mayhem. (Goats enjoy mayhem. It gives them something to ruminate on later.)
- Depend on the kindness of strangers and John Clark, owner of local Vienna Coffee Shop, newly relocated to College Street and even better than at its previous location. John and local strangers will valiantly lend their efforts to catch the errant goat.
- Do not lose your car keys when returning the aforementioned goat to car.
- Be grateful you have a husband who enjoys your desire to press the limits of the law, willingly drives to town with a spare set of car keys, leaves you with the air-conditioned car, and drives the goat home in the goatmobile.
- At the end of your adventure drink an iced latte at Vienna. It fortifies the soul, provides moral fiber, and gives you the strength to continue engaging in acts of civil disobedience in furtherance of goats' rights.
- Finally, always remember, "All's well that ends well."